I have really struggled with lockdown and isolation and, as I come to the end of my fourth week, it does not feel any easier. If anything the weight is heavier on my shoulders, my anxiety ramping up as my ‘flight’ response itches to kick in.
I’m not the kind of person who enjoys or benefits from forced positivity. I am and always will be a proponent of ‘feel whatever you feel’. On the days I feel desperate and miserable I allow myself to feel that way and reject any and all notions that I should think differently or try harder. Emotions are natural and they come and go. That said, one thing that has helped me to stay on track is acknowledging the things that have sparked joy in me. Being thankful for the small things can help boost my mood. It’s a good reminder that though a situation can feel overwhelming, there are times that can be appreciated and treasured. Today I thought I’d share a few recent snippets of joy.
Walks and runs
Since the lockdown occurred and we were told we were allowed one form of exercise per day, I have taken lots of walks and gone on lots of runs. Though my running schedule is somewhat all over the place, it is the first time in at least a year that I’ve laced up my Nikes and felt my lungs burn. After a run I always feel so uplifted and positive – like moving my body is pushing me forwards somehow. I have also enjoyed taking my camera out to the backfields and capturing nature in all its beauty. Photography is a big passion of mine so being able to get out with my camera is very healing for me. One particular day I enjoyed was standing in the blossoms and getting my Mum to take my photograph (with strict art direction from myself!) I must admit I do become a bit of a demon when I step in front of the lens and my direction veers more towards bossy and grumpy than inspiring but I did definitely enjoy the process! The outcome was nice too – my Mum did a good job in capturing me in the blossoms.
Blowing bubbles at sundown
One evening we headed to the backfields for our prescribed daily walk. The sun was setting and I had my camera at my hip. Mum carried the pack of bubble wands. It was so warm and the sunset was beautiful. Mum swished the wands around to create bubbles and I tried my best to capture them with my Nikon as the floated up in to the sky. It was a really simple evening spent outside but I enjoyed it a lot. Sometimes the little things are the most uplifting.
Flowers from a friend
An old school friend sent me some surprise flowers in the post and it really made my day! The beautiful bouquet is from Bloom & Wild, a company which I’ve followed and admired for years and is absolutely stunning. I spent a very peaceful morning arranging them and pruning back stems and leaves. She also sent a card with them with the lyrics to a very funny song we wrote together when we were 15! The song ended up stuck on loop in my head all day…in fact it’s still wedged in there! This RAOK was really lovely and really cheered me up – both the kind and thoughtful nature of the act and that I haven’t received flowers in a very long time!
Opening a very rare and special Sonny Angel!
I am a huge fan of Sonny Angels and have been collecting the cute Japanese figures for a number of years. I purchased a big box of 12 on eBay last week for a very reasonable £65 pounds. The box was a full set of the Sonny Angel x Laduree collection which was originally released six years ago. This was a limited edition series at the time and has since completely sold out – so to find a whole unopened box is practically unheard of, let alone at that price! I have pretty much the whole series – minus one. But figured I would enjoy opening the blind boxes as a treat and could resell the ones I had doubles of. I did enjoy them but most of all I enjoyed opening an incredibly rare Angel! I was so shocked and over the moon to open the blue-eyed Sonny Angel – it is worth hundreds of pounds and is very hard to find. The fact that it has remained hidden for so many years and that I opened it is so surprising – and incredibly lucky! This brightened my entire week and I am overjoyed to add this special Sonny to my collection!
Over the past few weeks I’ve ordered a fair few things online so I can keep receiving happy post and having random bursts of joy. I know it is very consumerist of me but it does help in these dire times. Two of my favourite purchases are a colourful eye shadow palette from Morphe and an oversized T-Shirt dress from Lazy Oaf.
It’s so important to keep track of and record the small positives and it has been really fun to reflect on the good. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep creating my snippets of positivity posts.